I love the NBA

So being all alone with nothing to do except watch TV, I decided to use the time to watch the NBA Finals. (It was either that or the UFC reality TV show. I decided on basketball. Sorry, Nick. Although I did watch one episode. And now they're doing a segment about it on The O'Reilly Factor.)

Since the finals came to an end yesterday, I decided to list some of my observations. Keep in mind that most of these come from the last three games.

1.) Things you don't hear every day from the commentators:

1. "Walker with a good play! Walker's really been hurting Dallas."
   
2. Talking about Wade: "He's humble and he has humility."
   
3. After he makes his first shot of the game: "Posey's been hot tonight."
   
4. After Shaq has been hogging the championship trophy all night, Dan Patrick finally asks him, "So, are you going to sleep with that tonight?"
   

2.) Who says NBA players (and coaches) aren't eloquent?

1. According to Shaq: "I want to win the championship for Riley, Big 'Zo (Mourning), GP (Payton), oh yeah, and Flash (Wade). He deserves it." What? If it wasn't for Wade, the Heat would be in contention for the top pick in the NBA draft.
2. Gary Payton post-game interview: Interviewer: "How does it feel winning after losing two straight?" Payton: "Didn't nobody think we was gonna do dat."
   
3. Dan Patrick: "What do have to say about taking over as coach?" Riley: "Well, it seems like 5 years ago." Then, without answering the question... But I do want to say this, These guys are the greatest and they deserve it... Oh, yeah, San Dimas High School Football Rules!"
   

3.) I love player bios.

1. Did you know that Nowitski is from Germany and likes David Hasselhoff? They only talked about every timeout of every game.
   
2. Did you know that Marquis Daniels has an entire Bible verse from Psalms tattooed on his chest? Where do these announcers get this information?
   

4.) As if watching just the game wasn't bad enough...

1. How many times do they have to show Shaq's dad in the crowd?
   
2. Can I say I already hate the show The Nine? How many times can you watch the previews before you want to eat your own barf?
   
3. Superman trailers comparing Shaq to Superman? That's like comparing Steven Segal to Chuck Norris.
   

5.) Final feelings...

1. Man, Gary Payton is really good...at sucking it up. The Glove? Come on, more like the Mitten. I bet Karl Malone is pissed.
   
2. Does Shaq have an inferiority complex or what? When David Stern was trying to give Wade the MVP trophy, Shaq kept trying to grab it away from him. Dude, get over it. Mourning and Dampier did better than you. You had like 9 points in the final game! You and Payton should go hang out.
   
3. And finally....Why do I feel embarrassed every time Van Horn gets in the game?