To pee or not to pee.

So the other day as I was heading out the door to work, my boss calls me and says she needs to see me in her office. "OK, fine," I think. "Hopefully I'm not getting fired for looking at our blog at work."

Well, I'm kind of nervous as I go in and I'm starting to get the pre-game nervous diarrhea (Chad, I know you know what I'm talking about here.) but I pull it together enough to talk to her and she informs me that I've been selected for random drug testing that morning.

"OK, good, at least I don't have to explain the naked guys in Speedos."

So now I'm not so nervous but I realize that I haven't had any breakfast yet and I'm not sure how full my bladder actually is. I've got to try so I go talk to the nurse and she walks be down to the bathroom and waits outside while I'm left to my own devices.... Five minutes later I realize that it's not working. I can't push too hard because I had eaten enchiladas the night before and you're not supposed to flush the toilet until the nurse comes back in. Well, I didn't want to leave a big deuce in the bottom of Mr. Porcelain himself (Can someone say awkward?) so I had to concede defeat. I told the nurse that I have performance anxiety but I don't think she thought it was that funny.

(What is funny, though, is that the bathroom was on automatic lights so while I was standing at the toilet with a cup in my hand and ... in the other, the lights would go off. So then I'd have to start dancing around to get the lights back on. At least I didn't fall over.)

Back to the story... So the nurse tells me to go get some water or a soda and be back before two hours are up to try again. Here's where I had a question I wish I could have asked someone. What kind of liquid works best in this situation? Should I have gone with milk, juice, water, soda, KM? I didn't know so I did what any respectable Tustison would do, I went to McDonald's and loaded up on a McGriddle and a 32 oz. Dr. Pepper. I drank about half of it there, filled it back up, drank it all gone and then went back to take my test. You'd think that drinking 50+ oz. of soda would do the trick, and it did, but I could still barely fill up the cup past the label. It wasn't until a couple hours after that that the rest was flowing like the salmon of capistrano.

So do other liquids go through your body faster than others? If anyone has an answer to this question that can be backed up by science, firsthand experience, or information from the BRI, that would be great to know for next time.

Thanks.

Honey-Dipped Loving

For your viewing pleasure, I bring you "Ooh girl!", from the producers of "First Semester of Spanish Love Song".



Don't thank me. Thank Clint for finding it. Bravo.

Hey everyone-

This is actually Samantha. I was too lazy to log out and sign back in under my own name. So Mike takes no blame for this post.

Kim wanted something to take the place, well here you are. Some cute pictures of Oliver.

You asked for it.

I'll give you a dollar...

Someone, please! Post anything just so I don't have to look at those nasty swimming suits. I'll give you a dollar if you do.

Poll: What Swimwear Should I Get For The Beach?

Since we're traveling towards South America for the family vacation, I thought I would enlist the fashion sense of our Brazilian neighbors as well as water polo memories to inspire a choice of new swimwear. I thought I would also draw upon the wisdom of the rest of the family to help me choose. So, Family, please go to the sidebar and vote.

Who's the most diverse all-star in your roster?

OK, sorry I'm double-posting about The List but I just read #88 and couldn't help but nearly fall out of my seat laughing. It's like that website that Chad and Samantha used to frequent... something along the lines of "Dude, my best friend is black."

I'll really try not to point to The List again.

Bracketology

Bracketology, I am doing it
My Bracketology.
And the reason why I am doing it
Is very clear to me.
I want to win the whopping fifty bucks
And a picture on the wall of me.....
I must fill it out
And send it in on time
My bracketology!!!!

Selection Sunday......March 16
Brackets out..........March 17 (good FHE activity)
Tournament starts.....March 20

Good luck to all.

Whoa!

Dude, what happened to Grand Theft Auto guy?

Stickin' to The Man

All right, so I figured that since Kim's last post initiated the discussion on race relations in the United States, I thought I would continue in that same vein and point you all to a blog I ran across the other day that you might at the very least find mildly interesting, and at the most, find downright hi-larious.

The blog is called Stuff White People Like and I think you'll enjoy it.

Now let me state publicly that I understand completely that our family is indeed a racially diverse family. I mean, we've got Hispanics (or Latins or Chicanos or Spanish or Mexicans or whatever the correct term is these days) and we've got the shay whitey wonderbread heads along with everything in between. (OK, so there's not much in between but there is that Shad character with the brown [chest] hair and white butt that acts as the link.)

So, without further ado, I present The List.

Stake Conference

Typically, Stake Conference means we get to take a much needed church holiday, but this time we decided to go since we were getting a new Stake Presidency. Armed for two hours with no primary, I took a bag of cars and the crayons and coloring book Grace brought Aiden the last time she came. Thankfully, when we got there, Aiden decided he wanted to color instead of playing with his cars (which usually includes lots of loud fake engine sounds). He was coloring really well and staying inside the lines as he colored a picture of a little boy in front of a birthday cake. He colored the candles, the cake, the boy's t-shirt, the little dog, the party hats, and then decided he wanted to color the boy. Just as loudly as the general authority had just announced the new Stake President, Aiden announced that he was going to color the little boy's skin brown, "You know, like a famous black American." I guess he learns more at school than just letters and numbers.

polk-a-dots

I LOVE the dots!!!