Yeah, so while everyone is stating their problems with weight gain, I might as well participate in these trials and difficulties we call weight problems. Since my mission I have been continually losing weight. Now I have no idea if that is a good thing or not, but yesterday, right before I got into the RB pool, I weighed myself and I have dropped down to where I was before the mission to 151 lbs. I went from 165 to 151 in a matter of about three months. Now some of you may be wondering, "What did he do to be able to do that?" Well, I do have my special tricks and secrets that I will let you in on right now and they consist of three basic steps.
1. Spend money on everything else such as cds, books, girls (this one I haven't been doing), etc. When I do this I find out I have no money to spend on costco muffins or pizza and so I spend the next two weeks snacking on granola bars with coke while reading "100 Americans who are screwing up America."
2. Become so incredibly lazy that the simple fact of heating up a can of chili makes you groan. Yeah, I never thought snacking on dried top ramen would actually be enticing until I realized how much preparation you need to put forth into making it (there is no preparation made in making it). Although just opening it makes me cry from frustration, considering the alternatives, I have decided it is a better route.
3. Develop a nervousness in eating in front of people. I have found this one particularly successful for me. Just the simple fact of eating pizza makes me recall those moments of ridicule from my brothers/sister. Now, when I refer to 'eating in front of people' I refer to those special ward activities, FHE's, and every other time where dropping food onto your shirt is in plain view of the general public. In developing this habit, one soon realizes how overrated eating really is and starts relating it to mundane activities like taking a shower and brushing your teeth. If guilt is formed in forming an 'anorexic' attitude towards this, there is always self-justification such as "I am too busy studying" or "I might as well do a half-fast while I am without food."
Well, there they are. If pity is felt for me, cookies/treats/money can be sent to:
Trevor Tustison
1130 E. 450N. #51
Provo, Ut 84606
For any questions or concerns (or scoldings from the pads) contact me at trevortustison@yahoo.com
Thursday, September 22, 2005
Thursday, September 15, 2005
Pregnancy Bliss
The following is just a few of the wonderful things I am experiencing at the moment.
Sleep
Every night I am tricked into thinking that because I am so sleepy I will sleep throughout the whole night, and every night that dream is spoiled.
The first thing I do when I get into bed is arrange my pillows: One under my head, one between my legs, one under my stomach and one that I hold. As soon as I’m ready and start to fall asleep, I realize that Mike didn’t turn the fan into our room and knowing that I will drown in my own sweat without that fan, I look to Mike who is conveniently asleep and get up only to go through my routine all over again.
The pillows work great until I feel the need to turn to my other side. If this activity that resembles crocodile wrestling doesn’t fully wake me up, it’s the thought that I better go to the bathroom as long as I’m partly awake. I struggle my way over the tower of pillows and twisted blankets, my joints are so stiff I can’t stand up straight and it takes my wrists 20 seconds to gain enough strength to hold me up. Once I get done in the bathroom I stumble back to bed only to realize that my mouth feels as dry as Clint’s feet look. Every night I feel as though fast Sunday was the next day and we were stupid enough to eat pizza that night. And then I remember, no, it’s just that wonderful St. George desert. I go back to the kitchen, find a cold water bottle and down the whole thing, only to realize after that this will cause 3 more bathroom stops during the night. I finally make it back to bed and fall asleep. As predicted, 2 hours later I wake up to go to the bathroom only to be blessed by a bloody nose. This takes me back to my elementary school days when I would lay on the floor for hours on end. While they are not exactly that bad, I still am surprised to see that not only blood is coming out of my nose, but several other things that I won’t mention.
As morning approaches the feel to stretch overtakes me before I have time to remember the consequences. One moment I’m snuggling up to my 10 pillows and the next, I’m sitting straight up, trying to not wake Mike with my silent scream, as my calf muscle contracts like a snapped rubber band. I try to point my feet up and the pain slowly drains. You would think I would learn my lesson but five minutes later the same thing happens again and then again.
Body Effects
My day consists of watching TV, cleaning up around the house, and playing spider solitaire, oh and of course eating. So why is it by the time late afternoon approaches I feel like I have just gotten done with running a marathon? Every part of my body aches and my joints feels like the Tin-mans’ from the Wizard of Oz, (before he received the oil). Now I already know Mikes response to this and if I hear it one more time I might just kill him: Exercise. Now if you ask me, walking to the mail box, carrying a huge load of laundry to the facility and of course walking back and forth from the refrigerator countless times a day are quite efficient for an exercise program. Plus anything more might harm the baby (an easy and non-arguable excuse). Another reason, for non-strenuous exercise is my sciatic nerve. Laugh all you want, but until you experience it you have no idea what it is like. If I move heavy things during the day or walk around a lot, I am usually accompanied by a painful reminder for the remainder of that day. One minute I’m walking calmly around Costco, eating up the delicious caramel cheesecake sample, when a sharp pain travels up my thigh causing my leg to completely give out. For the rest of the trip I lean on the cart trying to look half normal while I walk/limp down the aisle. The best is when the syatic nerve pairs up with the leg cramp. Now that’s when things get exciting.
My back, wanting some attention too, acts up by the end of the day, so I carry out my entourage of pillows from the bedroom and prop them on the couch to ease the pain. After an hour of complaining about my back and realizing that Mike will never figure it out on his own, I give in and ask him if he would be so kind as to massage it for me. He reluctantly agrees and proceeds to rub my back in the same spot for a whole 5 minutes then goes back to his chair to continue changing channels. I don’t know what’s worse, the lower back pain that is still there, or the rug burn that is now permanently impressed in my back.
Emotional Instability
As if my body breaking down wasn’t bad enough, I can usually count on my mind doing the same thing at about the same time. As soon as dark approaches I can feel myself getting antsy, wanting something more than to watch Emril live for the 50th time in a row. Mike offers to change the channels, but the choices of the history or the video game channel really don’t appeal to me and the “joke” doesn’t make me laugh. I look around and realize that everything that is happening, or lack of for that matter, is annoying. It’s like I’m sitting in the back of the jeep all over again. Chad is on one side and Trevor on the other and both have their legs spread as wide as they possibly can, smashing mine in the process. Trevor might as well be asleep since I can hear his breathing over the half static-half talk radio dad is listening to. On the other side Chad is eating a package of pork rinds, although the same sound would emerge if he was eating gummy bears, while in between bites he blows his nose on a tissue that is as small and transparent as a trident gum wrapper. While Mike’s habits aren’t nearly as bad, his twitching foot causes me to go over the edge. However, I am comforted by one thought. Now I know some in the family may gasp in horror at what I’m about to say and to them I don’t apologize, for I am not ashamed (Plus, the dr. says it okay). I grab my mug and demand that Mike drive me to the corner gas station where soda refills are an amazing .49cents. I fill my mug with Dr. Pepper, yes, caffeinated Dr. Pepper and my anxiety diminishes as I drink. It truly is the best medicine and it only takes a few ounces before I am completely calm again.
Of course, then there is the fear that is creeping slowly inside me realizing that in a little over a month I will have a baby to take care of. Mike of course, completely reassures me by saying, “Sam, it’s no big deal, you can have an epidural.” and, “Don’t worry, I’ve changed a diaper before, taking care of a baby is going to be easy.” What would I do without him? At least (I hope), he will not be like his dad who, after Mike was born, said to his mom, “Now that wasn’t so bad, was it?”
Disclaimer: While this might seem like I am complaining, I am honestly truly thankful for this baby and for having this experience. Also, anything negative referring to Mike has been (only slightly) embellished for dramatic effect.
Sleep
Every night I am tricked into thinking that because I am so sleepy I will sleep throughout the whole night, and every night that dream is spoiled.
The first thing I do when I get into bed is arrange my pillows: One under my head, one between my legs, one under my stomach and one that I hold. As soon as I’m ready and start to fall asleep, I realize that Mike didn’t turn the fan into our room and knowing that I will drown in my own sweat without that fan, I look to Mike who is conveniently asleep and get up only to go through my routine all over again.
The pillows work great until I feel the need to turn to my other side. If this activity that resembles crocodile wrestling doesn’t fully wake me up, it’s the thought that I better go to the bathroom as long as I’m partly awake. I struggle my way over the tower of pillows and twisted blankets, my joints are so stiff I can’t stand up straight and it takes my wrists 20 seconds to gain enough strength to hold me up. Once I get done in the bathroom I stumble back to bed only to realize that my mouth feels as dry as Clint’s feet look. Every night I feel as though fast Sunday was the next day and we were stupid enough to eat pizza that night. And then I remember, no, it’s just that wonderful St. George desert. I go back to the kitchen, find a cold water bottle and down the whole thing, only to realize after that this will cause 3 more bathroom stops during the night. I finally make it back to bed and fall asleep. As predicted, 2 hours later I wake up to go to the bathroom only to be blessed by a bloody nose. This takes me back to my elementary school days when I would lay on the floor for hours on end. While they are not exactly that bad, I still am surprised to see that not only blood is coming out of my nose, but several other things that I won’t mention.
As morning approaches the feel to stretch overtakes me before I have time to remember the consequences. One moment I’m snuggling up to my 10 pillows and the next, I’m sitting straight up, trying to not wake Mike with my silent scream, as my calf muscle contracts like a snapped rubber band. I try to point my feet up and the pain slowly drains. You would think I would learn my lesson but five minutes later the same thing happens again and then again.
Body Effects
My day consists of watching TV, cleaning up around the house, and playing spider solitaire, oh and of course eating. So why is it by the time late afternoon approaches I feel like I have just gotten done with running a marathon? Every part of my body aches and my joints feels like the Tin-mans’ from the Wizard of Oz, (before he received the oil). Now I already know Mikes response to this and if I hear it one more time I might just kill him: Exercise. Now if you ask me, walking to the mail box, carrying a huge load of laundry to the facility and of course walking back and forth from the refrigerator countless times a day are quite efficient for an exercise program. Plus anything more might harm the baby (an easy and non-arguable excuse). Another reason, for non-strenuous exercise is my sciatic nerve. Laugh all you want, but until you experience it you have no idea what it is like. If I move heavy things during the day or walk around a lot, I am usually accompanied by a painful reminder for the remainder of that day. One minute I’m walking calmly around Costco, eating up the delicious caramel cheesecake sample, when a sharp pain travels up my thigh causing my leg to completely give out. For the rest of the trip I lean on the cart trying to look half normal while I walk/limp down the aisle. The best is when the syatic nerve pairs up with the leg cramp. Now that’s when things get exciting.
My back, wanting some attention too, acts up by the end of the day, so I carry out my entourage of pillows from the bedroom and prop them on the couch to ease the pain. After an hour of complaining about my back and realizing that Mike will never figure it out on his own, I give in and ask him if he would be so kind as to massage it for me. He reluctantly agrees and proceeds to rub my back in the same spot for a whole 5 minutes then goes back to his chair to continue changing channels. I don’t know what’s worse, the lower back pain that is still there, or the rug burn that is now permanently impressed in my back.
Emotional Instability
As if my body breaking down wasn’t bad enough, I can usually count on my mind doing the same thing at about the same time. As soon as dark approaches I can feel myself getting antsy, wanting something more than to watch Emril live for the 50th time in a row. Mike offers to change the channels, but the choices of the history or the video game channel really don’t appeal to me and the “joke” doesn’t make me laugh. I look around and realize that everything that is happening, or lack of for that matter, is annoying. It’s like I’m sitting in the back of the jeep all over again. Chad is on one side and Trevor on the other and both have their legs spread as wide as they possibly can, smashing mine in the process. Trevor might as well be asleep since I can hear his breathing over the half static-half talk radio dad is listening to. On the other side Chad is eating a package of pork rinds, although the same sound would emerge if he was eating gummy bears, while in between bites he blows his nose on a tissue that is as small and transparent as a trident gum wrapper. While Mike’s habits aren’t nearly as bad, his twitching foot causes me to go over the edge. However, I am comforted by one thought. Now I know some in the family may gasp in horror at what I’m about to say and to them I don’t apologize, for I am not ashamed (Plus, the dr. says it okay). I grab my mug and demand that Mike drive me to the corner gas station where soda refills are an amazing .49cents. I fill my mug with Dr. Pepper, yes, caffeinated Dr. Pepper and my anxiety diminishes as I drink. It truly is the best medicine and it only takes a few ounces before I am completely calm again.
Of course, then there is the fear that is creeping slowly inside me realizing that in a little over a month I will have a baby to take care of. Mike of course, completely reassures me by saying, “Sam, it’s no big deal, you can have an epidural.” and, “Don’t worry, I’ve changed a diaper before, taking care of a baby is going to be easy.” What would I do without him? At least (I hope), he will not be like his dad who, after Mike was born, said to his mom, “Now that wasn’t so bad, was it?”
Disclaimer: While this might seem like I am complaining, I am honestly truly thankful for this baby and for having this experience. Also, anything negative referring to Mike has been (only slightly) embellished for dramatic effect.
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
Basketball Tryouts Anyone?
I got this from cougarfan.com
Walk-on Tryouts Set for Oct. 10 by Brett Pyne, BYU Athletic Communications PROVO, Utah (Sept. 13, 2005) -- Walk-on tryouts for the BYU men's basketball team will take place Monday, Oct. 10, from 6-8 a.m. BYU students interested in trying out must register in advance at the Men's Basketball Office located at 2112 Marriott Center. Any questions about the tryouts can be addressed to the Basketball Office at 422-3612.
Is Scott Pace going to try out again this year?Thursday, September 08, 2005
Words of Wisdom
Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time runing around shouting that he's been robbed. The fact is that most putts don't drop, most beef is tough, most children grow up to be just people, most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration, most jobs are more often dull than otherwise. Life is like an old time rail journey.....delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas, and thrilling bursts of speed. The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride.
President Gordon B. Hinckley
President Gordon B. Hinckley
Monday, September 05, 2005
MIA
First of all, let me say that the BYU game was on ABC in our neck of the woods and about every five minutes, a scrolling marque across the bottom of the screen would come on and say:
"The ABC network is responsible for deciding which games to show. Your local WJLA-TV affiliate has no say in which games these are. Thank you for your understanding."
It's kind of like they were apologizing for showing BYU. Well, after that showing, I'm sure ABC won't make that mistake again.
OK, enough of that. I know I have been a stranger to the blog for the last month or so. I kind of feel like Chaz (except that I'm not 195 lbs. quite yet). In a similar fashion to Chad's work schedule, I was also forced to spend late nights and early mornings away from home and my lovely wife. Yes, Hawaii was a difficult place to spend three weeks. It takes a special person to wake up, go to the beach all day, show up to work in the afternoon for a couple of hours, and then go out to eat, all the while getting paid per diem to be out there. It's tough but when you're called on to sacrifice for the good around you, you do what you can.
So, now that I'm back, I thought I would share with you all some of the enduring trials I had to go through. It was no Iraq, but... well, you judge for yourself.
The view from my hotel; sucks to be me.
A view of Waikiki from Diamond Head.
Oh, wait, how did that get in there...
The sunset off Waikiki.
Believe it or not, the reason I was there...
Anyways, thank you all for worrying about Mayka while I was gone. Needless to say, she did an amazing job taking care of the three kids in Connecticut while I was gone.
BTW, we also got our ticket for Christmas. We get there on the 24th in the mid-morning sometime and then leave on January 4th. We're excited to see everybody and Riley and Sam are especially excited to push Tio Chad in the snow.
"The ABC network is responsible for deciding which games to show. Your local WJLA-TV affiliate has no say in which games these are. Thank you for your understanding."
It's kind of like they were apologizing for showing BYU. Well, after that showing, I'm sure ABC won't make that mistake again.
OK, enough of that. I know I have been a stranger to the blog for the last month or so. I kind of feel like Chaz (except that I'm not 195 lbs. quite yet). In a similar fashion to Chad's work schedule, I was also forced to spend late nights and early mornings away from home and my lovely wife. Yes, Hawaii was a difficult place to spend three weeks. It takes a special person to wake up, go to the beach all day, show up to work in the afternoon for a couple of hours, and then go out to eat, all the while getting paid per diem to be out there. It's tough but when you're called on to sacrifice for the good around you, you do what you can.
So, now that I'm back, I thought I would share with you all some of the enduring trials I had to go through. It was no Iraq, but... well, you judge for yourself.
The view from my hotel; sucks to be me.
A view of Waikiki from Diamond Head.
Oh, wait, how did that get in there...
The sunset off Waikiki.
Believe it or not, the reason I was there...
Anyways, thank you all for worrying about Mayka while I was gone. Needless to say, she did an amazing job taking care of the three kids in Connecticut while I was gone.
BTW, we also got our ticket for Christmas. We get there on the 24th in the mid-morning sometime and then leave on January 4th. We're excited to see everybody and Riley and Sam are especially excited to push Tio Chad in the snow.
Saturday, September 03, 2005
True Blue?????
Man - I am so tired of gearing up for the football season and having my team fizzle. My anxiety level goes way up (it's a good thing I have access to drugs) and I take it personal. I am in a bad mood and very grouchy. And we have to go to church and hear all about the "red team." What can I do to get through this season and not bite Dad's head off. He tells me not to expect anything and then I won't be disappointed. Yeah, whatever. I am just mad. Perhaps I will eat some chocolate and maybe I will feel better.
Friday, September 02, 2005
Anyone up for some Roller Blading???
I’ll never forget the time in Madera, I think it was a Saturday, when BYU was playing Oklahoma in the Maui invitational. I remember Nick was in the living room with me and we went crazy at the end of the game when Knight sunk the three-point shot after the Sanderson miss. What I remember most, however, was the time-outs. During every time out, I would run outside with my basketball, shoot for a few seconds, dunk on Nick a couple of times and then run inside for the game. This happened at each juncture in the game and continued long after the final buzzer went off. Growing up, there were many movies that compelled me to act out whatever was being done. Of course, almost every major karate movie sent me into dropkicks and roundhouses, hence the siblings’ fear of the "Power of ten tigers," aka "If only I could touch your hair."
I, therefore, pose these questions: What is it in movies and TV that makes us want to imitate whatever was being done in the show? Is it healthy? How should we approach this phenomenon? Should this be a major factor in considering an Oscar bid? I will now explore this…
In order to address this topic in full, we first need to establish a name for this occurrence. Right now the best I can come up with is the Compellability Factor. (Kind of like Fear Factor but without the worm poop and goat testicles. While we’re on the subject, I absolutely loathe the show. There is nothing worse than eating ice cream, flipping the channels, and coming across twin bimbos eating maggot larvae. And we wonder why people from other countries think of us the way they do. This is my least favorite shows & the worst show on prime time. There, I said it.)
Anyway, the Compellability Factor is something that, in my opinion, hasn’t been studied enough (in fact, not at all, as far as I can tell). I think every movie has some form of Compellability, which can carry a positive or negative rating. Another factor within the Compellability Factor is the lasting affect. For example, Star Wars was and is a great movie series. However, once you get past the fact that you don’t have The Force, no matter how hard you try focusing, you give up and the Compellability Factor is short-lived. Of course its staying power is due to many other factors including soryline, plot, acting, etc. Another cable series, on the other hand, like Wrestlemania has spurred numerous wrestling federations, the moronic Backyard Wrestling folks, and the embarrassingly prolonged retirement of Hulk Hogan (He may have been inducted into the Hall of Fame, but he’s still wrestling). For these people, the compellability Factor of Wrestlemania is more important than they will ever realize. Of course, the acting is not as good as Star Wars.
So, lucky for you, I will now take the time to outline 5 movies which, in their day, ranked high (on my internal radar) in the compellability Factor Department. Note: each of these movies deserve a full review in its own right. I will, however, only address the Compellability Factor…for now….
Honorable Mentions:
Rocky III & IV
The Last Dragon
8 mile
Rad
Search for Animal Chin
Karate kid
Top Gun
Blackhawk Down
Now For the Top Five (drumroll please...)
Over the Top
One of Sylvester Stallone’s greatest performances, period—he inspired every boy from 8 to 17 years old to challenge his little sister in arm wrestling match, and haughtily walk around triumphantly afterward. Any actor that can do that should win some kind of award. While he didn’t win an Oscar, Sly was nominated for a Razzie Award (Worst Actor) for this movie in 1988. People harass him for "Stop, or My Mom Will Shoot," but how can people be so hard on him after "Over the Top"—there’s nowhere to go but down. While the Compellability Factor is high in this movie, I feel it lacked some realism. For example, the exercises—remember when they hold on to the door railing of the truck and do the little pull-ups. THESE DON’T WORK. I can do about 800 of these and it does NOTHING. If anything, it did give to the world the now-famous "over-the-top" move where you place the thumb of your fingers over you and your opponent’s thumb. Simply put, the best arm-wrestling movie of all time.
CF Rating: 7.7 out of 10
No Retreat No Surrender
What do you get when you cross Jean Claude Van Dam with a Russian accent, a Bruce Lee wannabe, endless fight scenes and A.C. Green’s little brother—only one of the best films of all time. What makes it so great? It’s definitely not the acting. You could’ve put Pauly Shore in the movie as Jason, cut his hair, taught him some fighting moves and the acting component wouldn’t have changed. The movie centers around a family whose father is a karate instructor running away from past financial problems while his son is a young karate version of Napoleon's Dynamite's Uncle Rico: embarrasingly over-confident, yet earnest in his quest for karate stardom. He meets up with some bad dudes from another Dojo and the movie culminates with him using his Bruce Lee training on a bunch of bad dudes. This movie is unique in that its Compellability Factor is three-fold. Not only does it make you want to move the coffee table, it also compels you to train and workout as well as learn how to break-dance. Overall good family fun. Two words: Chi, Power!
CF Rating: 8.3 out of 10
Searching for Bobby Fischer
Just making sure you’re still awake
Hoosiers
This one’s a no-brainer. It doesn’t really start coming into play until Jimmy starts playing. You watch these guys start winning, coming together, and you think, "hey, I could play for with those guys…I could run the picket fence…I could get used to those tight shorts. And then, before you know it, you’re outside in the driveway, wearing Nick's shorts, trying to knock down ten straight jumpers from the top of the key thinking you would have been unstoppable back then…
The Compellability Factor takes a big hit, however, when my mayor, Gene Hackman, kisses Barbara Hershey on the lips. We didn’t need to see that. Who wants to shoot hoops after that?!?! The end, no matter how implausible, redeems itself.
CF Rating: 8.5 out of 10
The Wizard
A few months ago, I saw Rain Man for the first time on TBS. I knew it had received a few awards and so I sat down and watched the whole thing. Throughout the whole movie, I kept thinking to myself, "I’ve seen this movie before." It wasn’t until Dustin Hoffman shows up at the casino and wins by counting/memorizing the cars that I realized I was practically watching The Wizard. This wasn’t just any movie—it featured movie stars Beau Bridges, Fred Savage and Christian Slater. Look at that cast again--Youre talking about three guys in the prime of their careers. Throw in the beautiful Mora Grissum, and we're talking about Michigan's Fab-Five caliber. (For a lot of people it is kind of like Robin Hood Prince of Thieves: Big Stars, horribly predictable, and ultimately disapointing, kind of like Ocean's Twelve. I don't want to get off on another tangent, but am I the only one that thought Ocean's Twelve was one of the most uninteresting movies within the last five years)? For those that don't know the premise of this movie, for whatever blashemous reason, this movie features a runaway quasi-autistic kid who turns out to be the Shaquille O’Neil of Nintendo games. Remember how good I was in double dribble (or any other game for that matter)? He was kind of like that. This game made you want to pick up a game controller and start playing, even if Mom tried to hide the controllers in the washing machine or the headset of her waterbed. Remember when Mom tried to play Super Mario Bros. in Delano and all y'all tried to tell her how to do it...You drove her away from the game. She could've been one of the greats. You should all be ashamed of yourselves. This game alone inspired me to singlehandedly beat Bionic Commando, Metroid and Contra (needless to say, I didn't date much). Of course, no one got close to Dad's Duck Hunt skills.
CF Rating: 9 out 10
Airborne
How can you go wrong when the main antagonist of the movie has the name "Chocolate Stain Blaine"? You can't-- this movie has it all. It has so many different roller blading scenes, you keep waiting for it to be done but there's always another scene, kind of like Crocodile Dundee II (not that it's a bad thing); you get roller hockey, street/freestyle rollerblading, street racing. The movie focuses on the adventures of a misplaced California surfer/rollerblader who is forced to relocate to Minnesota to stay with his cousin Wiley (aka That Guy from Without a Paddle). This movie not only has a very high Compellability Factor, it also has a high Rewatchablity & Fast-Forwarability Factor (to the good parts.) Airborne drove me to play roller hockey with Trevor and his friends every day after school, rain or shine. You read that right-- Because of this movie, I would drag out the blue trash cans and play roller hockey with 11 and 12 year old kids in the street, all the while beating my chest and pumping my fists in the air after every goal (similar to NHL 94). Man, I was pathetic, and I loved every minute of it.
CF Rating: 9.8 out of 10
A movie's Compellability Factor has not been explored enough. If anything, I hope this has brought awareness to the phenomenon and that you may begin (if you haven't started already) to assess movies not only on their acting, storyline, plot, predictability, societal value, but also on its Compellability Factor...or not.
I, therefore, pose these questions: What is it in movies and TV that makes us want to imitate whatever was being done in the show? Is it healthy? How should we approach this phenomenon? Should this be a major factor in considering an Oscar bid? I will now explore this…
In order to address this topic in full, we first need to establish a name for this occurrence. Right now the best I can come up with is the Compellability Factor. (Kind of like Fear Factor but without the worm poop and goat testicles. While we’re on the subject, I absolutely loathe the show. There is nothing worse than eating ice cream, flipping the channels, and coming across twin bimbos eating maggot larvae. And we wonder why people from other countries think of us the way they do. This is my least favorite shows & the worst show on prime time. There, I said it.)
Anyway, the Compellability Factor is something that, in my opinion, hasn’t been studied enough (in fact, not at all, as far as I can tell). I think every movie has some form of Compellability, which can carry a positive or negative rating. Another factor within the Compellability Factor is the lasting affect. For example, Star Wars was and is a great movie series. However, once you get past the fact that you don’t have The Force, no matter how hard you try focusing, you give up and the Compellability Factor is short-lived. Of course its staying power is due to many other factors including soryline, plot, acting, etc. Another cable series, on the other hand, like Wrestlemania has spurred numerous wrestling federations, the moronic Backyard Wrestling folks, and the embarrassingly prolonged retirement of Hulk Hogan (He may have been inducted into the Hall of Fame, but he’s still wrestling). For these people, the compellability Factor of Wrestlemania is more important than they will ever realize. Of course, the acting is not as good as Star Wars.
So, lucky for you, I will now take the time to outline 5 movies which, in their day, ranked high (on my internal radar) in the compellability Factor Department. Note: each of these movies deserve a full review in its own right. I will, however, only address the Compellability Factor…for now….
Honorable Mentions:
Rocky III & IV
The Last Dragon
8 mile
Rad
Search for Animal Chin
Karate kid
Top Gun
Blackhawk Down
Now For the Top Five (drumroll please...)
Over the Top
One of Sylvester Stallone’s greatest performances, period—he inspired every boy from 8 to 17 years old to challenge his little sister in arm wrestling match, and haughtily walk around triumphantly afterward. Any actor that can do that should win some kind of award. While he didn’t win an Oscar, Sly was nominated for a Razzie Award (Worst Actor) for this movie in 1988. People harass him for "Stop, or My Mom Will Shoot," but how can people be so hard on him after "Over the Top"—there’s nowhere to go but down. While the Compellability Factor is high in this movie, I feel it lacked some realism. For example, the exercises—remember when they hold on to the door railing of the truck and do the little pull-ups. THESE DON’T WORK. I can do about 800 of these and it does NOTHING. If anything, it did give to the world the now-famous "over-the-top" move where you place the thumb of your fingers over you and your opponent’s thumb. Simply put, the best arm-wrestling movie of all time.
CF Rating: 7.7 out of 10
No Retreat No Surrender
What do you get when you cross Jean Claude Van Dam with a Russian accent, a Bruce Lee wannabe, endless fight scenes and A.C. Green’s little brother—only one of the best films of all time. What makes it so great? It’s definitely not the acting. You could’ve put Pauly Shore in the movie as Jason, cut his hair, taught him some fighting moves and the acting component wouldn’t have changed. The movie centers around a family whose father is a karate instructor running away from past financial problems while his son is a young karate version of Napoleon's Dynamite's Uncle Rico: embarrasingly over-confident, yet earnest in his quest for karate stardom. He meets up with some bad dudes from another Dojo and the movie culminates with him using his Bruce Lee training on a bunch of bad dudes. This movie is unique in that its Compellability Factor is three-fold. Not only does it make you want to move the coffee table, it also compels you to train and workout as well as learn how to break-dance. Overall good family fun. Two words: Chi, Power!
CF Rating: 8.3 out of 10
Searching for Bobby Fischer
Just making sure you’re still awake
Hoosiers
This one’s a no-brainer. It doesn’t really start coming into play until Jimmy starts playing. You watch these guys start winning, coming together, and you think, "hey, I could play for with those guys…I could run the picket fence…I could get used to those tight shorts. And then, before you know it, you’re outside in the driveway, wearing Nick's shorts, trying to knock down ten straight jumpers from the top of the key thinking you would have been unstoppable back then…
The Compellability Factor takes a big hit, however, when my mayor, Gene Hackman, kisses Barbara Hershey on the lips. We didn’t need to see that. Who wants to shoot hoops after that?!?! The end, no matter how implausible, redeems itself.
CF Rating: 8.5 out of 10
The Wizard
A few months ago, I saw Rain Man for the first time on TBS. I knew it had received a few awards and so I sat down and watched the whole thing. Throughout the whole movie, I kept thinking to myself, "I’ve seen this movie before." It wasn’t until Dustin Hoffman shows up at the casino and wins by counting/memorizing the cars that I realized I was practically watching The Wizard. This wasn’t just any movie—it featured movie stars Beau Bridges, Fred Savage and Christian Slater. Look at that cast again--Youre talking about three guys in the prime of their careers. Throw in the beautiful Mora Grissum, and we're talking about Michigan's Fab-Five caliber. (For a lot of people it is kind of like Robin Hood Prince of Thieves: Big Stars, horribly predictable, and ultimately disapointing, kind of like Ocean's Twelve. I don't want to get off on another tangent, but am I the only one that thought Ocean's Twelve was one of the most uninteresting movies within the last five years)? For those that don't know the premise of this movie, for whatever blashemous reason, this movie features a runaway quasi-autistic kid who turns out to be the Shaquille O’Neil of Nintendo games. Remember how good I was in double dribble (or any other game for that matter)? He was kind of like that. This game made you want to pick up a game controller and start playing, even if Mom tried to hide the controllers in the washing machine or the headset of her waterbed. Remember when Mom tried to play Super Mario Bros. in Delano and all y'all tried to tell her how to do it...You drove her away from the game. She could've been one of the greats. You should all be ashamed of yourselves. This game alone inspired me to singlehandedly beat Bionic Commando, Metroid and Contra (needless to say, I didn't date much). Of course, no one got close to Dad's Duck Hunt skills.
CF Rating: 9 out 10
Airborne
How can you go wrong when the main antagonist of the movie has the name "Chocolate Stain Blaine"? You can't-- this movie has it all. It has so many different roller blading scenes, you keep waiting for it to be done but there's always another scene, kind of like Crocodile Dundee II (not that it's a bad thing); you get roller hockey, street/freestyle rollerblading, street racing. The movie focuses on the adventures of a misplaced California surfer/rollerblader who is forced to relocate to Minnesota to stay with his cousin Wiley (aka That Guy from Without a Paddle). This movie not only has a very high Compellability Factor, it also has a high Rewatchablity & Fast-Forwarability Factor (to the good parts.) Airborne drove me to play roller hockey with Trevor and his friends every day after school, rain or shine. You read that right-- Because of this movie, I would drag out the blue trash cans and play roller hockey with 11 and 12 year old kids in the street, all the while beating my chest and pumping my fists in the air after every goal (similar to NHL 94). Man, I was pathetic, and I loved every minute of it.
CF Rating: 9.8 out of 10
A movie's Compellability Factor has not been explored enough. If anything, I hope this has brought awareness to the phenomenon and that you may begin (if you haven't started already) to assess movies not only on their acting, storyline, plot, predictability, societal value, but also on its Compellability Factor...or not.
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