Yeah, so while everyone is stating their problems with weight gain, I might as well participate in these trials and difficulties we call weight problems. Since my mission I have been continually losing weight. Now I have no idea if that is a good thing or not, but yesterday, right before I got into the RB pool, I weighed myself and I have dropped down to where I was before the mission to 151 lbs. I went from 165 to 151 in a matter of about three months. Now some of you may be wondering, "What did he do to be able to do that?" Well, I do have my special tricks and secrets that I will let you in on right now and they consist of three basic steps.
1. Spend money on everything else such as cds, books, girls (this one I haven't been doing), etc. When I do this I find out I have no money to spend on costco muffins or pizza and so I spend the next two weeks snacking on granola bars with coke while reading "100 Americans who are screwing up America."
2. Become so incredibly lazy that the simple fact of heating up a can of chili makes you groan. Yeah, I never thought snacking on dried top ramen would actually be enticing until I realized how much preparation you need to put forth into making it (there is no preparation made in making it). Although just opening it makes me cry from frustration, considering the alternatives, I have decided it is a better route.
3. Develop a nervousness in eating in front of people. I have found this one particularly successful for me. Just the simple fact of eating pizza makes me recall those moments of ridicule from my brothers/sister. Now, when I refer to 'eating in front of people' I refer to those special ward activities, FHE's, and every other time where dropping food onto your shirt is in plain view of the general public. In developing this habit, one soon realizes how overrated eating really is and starts relating it to mundane activities like taking a shower and brushing your teeth. If guilt is formed in forming an 'anorexic' attitude towards this, there is always self-justification such as "I am too busy studying" or "I might as well do a half-fast while I am without food."
Well, there they are. If pity is felt for me, cookies/treats/money can be sent to:
Trevor Tustison
1130 E. 450N. #51
Provo, Ut 84606
For any questions or concerns (or scoldings from the pads) contact me at trevortustison@yahoo.com
3 comments:
That whole lazy thing happened to me...but Melissa and I just solved it by going to Taco Bell everyday. Really Smart!
I am going to start exercising tomorrow and then maybe I won't feel so guilty about eating chocolate. But then again, BYU lost a heartbreaker yesterday so chocolate is definitely on the diet. But I do have to do something before you'all come for Christmas. Those mentioned dishes sound yummy.
Waa, waa, Trevor. I'm so sorry you lost too much weight. I know I have been sitting around gaining about a pound per month since February. I've even got a free membership at the gym, but I didn't start using that until last week. My goal is to have all the extra weight plus a few pounds gone by Christmas so I can lay around and eat Chocolate for two weeks.
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