Before and After

Thought you would want to see before and after pictures. It actually got worse the next day, but is much better now. NOT FOR CHILDREN UNER 12 YEARS OLD......

No I haven't heard...

...and I don't want to.

Oh My Gosh! Did you hear about Paris?

So was I the only one watching MSNBC/CNN/Fox News before Paris Hilton got officially sent back to prison? I wouldn’t be surprised (actually, I would be. I am just using it as a figure of speech) if everyone who was sitting in their high school classes was watching this whole situation to see how it would turn out. As the class sits and stares, their whole life will hang in the balance. Presidential elections; who cares. The fact that their changing the secretary of defense; its just a bunch of old guys anyways. We want to know why there was a truck of party supplies driving up to the Hilton Mansion on the day she was required back to the courthouse. We want to know why she asked for a hair and make-up artist before she went to testify but one could see in the cop car that she wasn’t wearing any. So many questions to be answered.

I was reading a few comments after she was sent home with an electronic monitoring device, there were several comments all relaying essentially the same message: "If it was me, my white a#@ would still be in jail." Amen to that brother. One might ask: Is it fair? Who knows? Maybe she is just a product of her environment. In fact, maybe it should be her parents that get sent to jail. After all it wasn't her fault that her parents allowed her to get wasted every night at clubs, make a sex video, or squander her inheritance on servants that hold her drink. But then again, the story wouldn't be nearly as interesting. But then again would it?

And just a simple shout-out to Paris. Paris, your Simple Life just got a whole lot simpler. Just avoid the superfluous amount of inmates with staph infection.

What will I do now, now that Paris Hilton is back in Jail, the team I loathe (the Cavaliers) is in the finals, and the only thing ESPN is covering now is baseball and the SEC? Maybe I’ll start working again, but then again, I will be taking the GRE in about a month. Maybe I'll start studying for that.

Anatomy in the eyes of a soon-to-be four year old

The other day I was just about to get in the shower when Aiden burst in to go potty. He stopped about mid-stream and said, "Hey, where's your penis?" I simply told him I didn't have one, and quickly ducked behind the (newly installed) shower doors. In the ten minutes it took me to shower, Aiden managed to eventually get his pants up, flush the toilet, wash his hands, and ask, "Well what do you have instead of a penis?" Not wanting to start show-and-tell, I just told him, "women have vaginas." About then I was thinking how I really should lock the door, and I insisted on a house with two bathrooms for a reason. Then, Aiden said, "Can I see your bagina?" I did my best to play it cool, so I told him I'd show him one in my anatomy book. Somehow his mind finally moved on to something else, he got out of the bathroom so I could get out of the shower, the rest of the day happened, he went to bed, and all with no more "bagina" talk.
This morning I woke up to Aiden crying at my bedroom door in the midst of a discussion with Nick. Nick kept saying, "We're still tired; go play the computer," but Aiden was sobbing and saying, "but my mom forgot." Eventually Nick settled Aiden down enough to get the whole sentence out, "But my mom forgot to show me the baginas!" So, I had to get up and show the poor kid a vagina in my anatomy book. When I finally got to the page, he just said, "oh, that's it? Can we look at guts then?"