The Flight From Hell

I know I shouldn't use that vernacular, but believe me, it was. I had a wonderful trip back to Maryland and Philadelphia. I loved seeing everyone back there. Playing with the grandkids was great. Mayka and the boys dropped me off at the Baltimore airport at 3:30. I boarded the plane at 5:30 Baltimore time. I was supposed to sit on the aisle but they screwed that up and I ended up in the middle. Okay.........I can deal with that. The girl by the window chomped her gums so loud I wanted to smack her. She put new gum in her mouth every 15 minutes and wrapped the old stuff in a wrapper and stuck it in her pocket. She did this the whole trip. The guy on the aisle kept moving his knees back and forth in a nervous matter. I wanted to grip his leg and yell, "Stop it!!!!" But I didn't think it would be appropriate and might have been perceived as racist. So we departed. The family in front of me consisted of a mom, dad and twin little girls - about 2 years old. As soon as we got in the air, they started screaming. They didn't stop. I had on my ipod and still couldn't drown out the noise. Everyone was holding their heads. Then one of the little girls pooed her pants and got it all over the seat. The smell was horrendous and wafted through the cabin. Finally the captain comes on and says, "We can't land in Denver yet because they are having microbursts. " So we circled for quite awhile and then ran out of fuel. So we were diverted to Colorado Springs. We were the 20th plane in line for fuel, so we sat in the plane on the tarmac for two hours without any food or water. Another baby joined in the chorus. We finally got on our way to Denver at 10:30. My connecting flight from Denver was supposed to be at 10:05. Obviously, I have missed it. We were beginning our descent into Denver when all at once we heard the flight attendant say in a loud voice, "Ma'am, we are landing. Please sit down." Everyone looks backwards, and down the aisle from the bathroom comes a little old lady with a cane. The turbulence was quite pronounced. She finally found her seat up close to the front. The absurdity of the whole thing made me burst out laughing. I think it was a nervous laugh - because I was getting just a little shaky. We landed in Denver where I found my flight had closed. But I found a service rep who said "no, it's not" and I was able to board. I landed in Salt Lake City at 1:00 where Dad was able to pick me up. Meanwhile, they didn't get my luggage on board in Denver, thus I didn't have my luggage. But when I got home from work. it was here. So needless to say, it was quite the adventure. I am glad that I went and glad to be home.