Floodgate 2005

First of all, I've never been through a hurricane and lived to tell about it. I have, however, been through the flash flood areas in southern California ("The Dips" - Please don't remind me of Mom offering me cheese as I'm about to barf all over the place.) and while the floods never came, I often thought of what it would be like if they had. Well, I finally experienced it this evening. (I don't count the torrential monsoons in Ecuador because that was the mission and things like that are supposed to happen.)

We were out shopping at Joanne Fagrits (according to the boys) and upon leaving the store, noticed the ominous clouds moving over head. We quickly had the boys loaded in and strapped to their seats in record time (14 minutes and 36 seconds) and headed home.

About 2 miles from home the rain really hit.

I actually had to put the intermittent wipers on regular speed (due to some pleading from Mayka to "not give in to the Tustison Logic at a time like this!"). By the time we reached home and pulled in, the water was flowing like the salmon of Capistrano and the older two boys were getting a bit jumpy. (Rhys, for his part, was wondering when in the world his knees were going to arrive.)

Mayka and I sat in the car wondering how we were going to get everyone inside. Finally, we? came to the conclusion that I would get out of the car, go unlock the door to the apartment, come back to the car, get Riley, take him to the apartment, go back to the car, get Sam, take him to the apartment, go back to the car (see a pattern emerging?), get Rhys, and take him to the apartment. Mayka was in charge of getting the fagrit inside without incident.

Well, the plan looked good on paper (or the wipe, as it were) and so 3...2...1... I was out the door, shin deep in water, pushing my way to the apartment when...

Did I mention I was wearing Old Navy flip flops? Nice blue ones, too.

...in the confusion and mess of water, and while almost being carried away by a riptide, one flip flop came off. As it went hurdling under the car, I reached out with my foot and trapped it and managed to stick it back on my foot. I ran to the apartment, unlocked the door, grabbed a raincoat, and prepared myself to rescue my family.

I put the raincoat over my head, waded back out to the car and grabbed Riley.

(Now that I think about it, Mayka should have just grabbed the kids by the wrist and ankle and helicoptered them to the front door there was so much water. It would have been like old times (Wiest Lake, my birthday, Samantha's arm in a cast...).)

Needless to say, we didn't think of that soon enough, so I grabbed Riley and headed back to the apartment. I took a single step and BAM!, my flip flop was once again whisked off and heading under the car. I reached for it in vain with my foot and watched in despair as it was swallowed up by the rapids. I made a split second decision and chose to save Riley instead of my flip flop and carried him to the door. I kicked off my other flip flop and struggled to catch a glimpse of my struggling flip flop as it headed towards its imminent destruction, the storm drain.

Not many of you will know what it feels like to be hurling toward your doom, struggling to stop yourself as the water hurls you onward. Believe me (as one who's fallen into a river and gotten lost at Disneyland), it's not as fun as eating carne asada, that's for sure.

So, I'm now barefoot and working my way back to the car to get Sam. He's in the car, but hesitating. He's not sure if he wants to come out. I for one am completely soaked and for some reason still using the rain slicker over my head. Finally Sammy makes up his mind and chooses to come with me. (Thanks for taking your time, Sam!)

I drop him off in the house and then head back for Rhys, the calmest one of the whole bunch. ("That's so weird I don't have knees! I wonder when...")

Mayka hands him to me and I'm off, back to the apartment, soaked to the bone, wondering why in the world anybody would ever want a house with a garage. Apartments are the greatest thing since 46 oz. fountain drinks.

Mayka is right behind me and is preciously guarding her fabric store purchase. I tell Mayka of my loss and we gaze out longingly from the front door to see if we can catch a glimpse of the sacrificial flip flop.

There's no sign of the recently departed, so Mayka suggests I go upstairs and get el Jefe: my 10,000,000 candle power Costco special spotlight. That thing nearly has X-ray vision. Maybe we can use it to locate the flip flop.

I run upstairs, unlock it from its case, head downstairs, hoist it on my shoulder, and fire that baby up. It practically lights car tires on fire it's so bright but even with the extra light source we had no luck finding the flip flop.

Mayka then decides to take matters into her own hands by doing some recon work right in the eye of the storm. She takes off towards the storm drain wearing jeans and a black blouse (perfect combat gear) in hopes of finding the missing pair of $3.50 flip flops. The flip flop, however, is as elusive as Osama and turns up MIA. She comes back and informs me that there is no way it could have survived the plunge and we're forced to give up the search for good.

We close the door, calm everyone's fears (except for Rhys, who's now wondering if he has elbows) and put on some hot chocolate as we get ready for FHE.

Sam and Riley have calmed down and now seem to be more distraught over the fact that I've lost my flip flop and that tomorrow I'm going to have to buy a new one. Over the next three hours until they fall asleep in our bed, they ask every 3.4 seconds if my flip flop is lost and if I'm going to buy a new one tomorrow. Very similar to the "Aiden-threw-the-ABCD's-in-the-trash-and-tia-Kim-got-them-out-story" that some of you may well be familiar with.

Well, as of the now the rain has stopped and the boys are asleep. It's been a very trying past three hours and I need my sleep because I think we might have a candle light vigil in order to meditate on this latest tragedy in the lives of the MTF (Maryland Tustison Family).