So last night, the bishopric called and asked me to speak in church this Sunday on fellowshipping. I don't know anyone except the primary kids and a couple of guys I play with on Thursday nights for basketball, and you know what, I'm fine with that. I haven't gone on splits in 8 years and bolt to the car right after church while I wait for Jenn's weekly ad hoc YW's meeting even when the car interior tops 300 degrees. It's like when Zack asked Screech to wait in line for the U2 tickets in Season 3. You just know he's not qualified and he'll probably screw things up anyway (which he did). I don't want to be one of those speakers who get's up and says, "Sometimes I think a person is asked to speak on something because that person needs it the most, and that's true in my case....etc....." Not that there's anything wrong with that - I just don't want to go there.
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Anyway, I was thinking about telling the story of how we almost left the church in Madera since Sister Donnavan didn't greet Mom during Relief Society or talk about the fried chicken in Delano that the Slaughters brought over after we first moved in. Maybe I should bring up the time that Jenn and I visited BYU during Christmas and Trevor barely introduced us to his "friend." If there is a way I could integrate Spiritual Crocodiles into the talk, it's a definite must, especially since not a lot of people have heard the talk/video/soundtrack/seminary lesson/etc.
Anyway, I was thinking about telling the story of how we almost left the church in Madera since Sister Donnavan didn't greet Mom during Relief Society or talk about the fried chicken in Delano that the Slaughters brought over after we first moved in. Maybe I should bring up the time that Jenn and I visited BYU during Christmas and Trevor barely introduced us to his "friend." If there is a way I could integrate Spiritual Crocodiles into the talk, it's a definite must, especially since not a lot of people have heard the talk/video/soundtrack/seminary lesson/etc.
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And since we are the most outgoing and anti anti-social family out there, I was hoping others might have some ideas or different angles in which I could frame this talk. Suggestions are welcomed.
And since we are the most outgoing and anti anti-social family out there, I was hoping others might have some ideas or different angles in which I could frame this talk. Suggestions are welcomed.
5 comments:
Hey, wasn't there a recent blog entry about going on splits with the missionaries?
You should talk about how it's easy for a person to slip into inactivity when others don't make an effort to fellowship them. Then say, "I'm still looking forward to ya'll welcoming us to the ward."
Amateur. I would tell the bishop that you don't know who would fall asleep first, you or the audience, with a topic like that. I would then tell him that you'd get back to him with some of your own suggestions. Some of the topics that I have in my queue (for when they actually ask me to speak) are:
* "What? No hot chocolate!" Practice and Perspective in the Evolution of the Word of Wisdom
* Napoleon Dynamite, Priesthood Skills and the Modern Mormon Male
* "Did you hear the one about the mysterious hitchhiker picked up along I-15?": The Wandering Jew' in Contemporary Mormon Folklore
I also have one where I discuss the Superman figure and how he's a modern version of the Golem myth popular in Jewish folklore. I then weave through several vignettes of the Hebrew Bible, discuss David Hilbert's address at the 1904 World Math Conference, and then finish with certain, less-contemplated passages of the King Follett discourse. Anyway, those are just a few of the ideas I have. I'm sure you can imagine why I haven't given a talk in the past three years (and probably since a copy of my last talk is in my membership file). However, as you can see, I have several planned for when they finally come to their senses.
Call me if you want me to send you anything.
Thanks everyone for your suggestions. Kim, I think your on to something. I may even squeeze out a tear or two.
Clint, you volunteer once and it's over.
Nick, I like some of your talk topics. I may go that route. Here are some of my ideas:
* "I don't know, go ask your mother.": Alma 56:47 Revisited
* No Blood, No Foul: A new member's guide to Church Basketball
* Secrets of the Sheri Dew Sisterhood: Mars' Hill in Modern Mormondom.
I don't remember the Sis. Donovan thing, but we did almost leave the first Sunday we were there because we went to sit down and someone came up and said, "These seats are saved{". Then we moved to another row and something else said the same thing. We ended up on a row where Samantha and Trevor sat on our laps. Godd thing they were little. There's also my first time in Relief Societh that Jamie Hansen handed me his twin baby boys and said "Watch them, I have to teach a class." I didn't even know him or his kids. And my toe hurt, too.
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