Monday, May 16, 2005
The Illegitimate Son
This last weekend Sam and I set out on a journey for rest and relaxation, known in some circles as R&R. Enthralled in our quest for the Holy Grail, as it were, we decided that the house of Padres was the ideal destination for this relaxation. Upon arriving the decision was made that I would accompany Jim to the Father and Sons outing as his provisional progeny. Given this gift and responsibility I decided that the rest of the weekend should be spent acting like a son. My next task, mow the lawn. Inspired by a certain someone, an ensemble including only Trevors boots and longjohns served as my template for this 4 a.m. task. (just kidding I could'nt take it that far). Feeling incomplete, the sting for more service made my stomach ache like a hungry dog with a plate full of steak just inches away. Having been a pupil of Bob Villa at one time I decided to try my luck at a home remodel (moving the Piano). This task almost bested my assistant Jim, but I proved the victor none the less. Putting the last of my affairs in order I thought it best that the wife and I return to the homestead, thus putting an end to my days as an Illegitimate Son.
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4 comments:
Very noble of you Mike, although it might be best to qualify the statement "...I decided that the rest of the weekend should be spent acting like a son" with the following:
"...I decided that the rest of the weekend should be spent acting like the two oldest sons (Nick and Clint)."
I don't remember anyone else mowing the lawn of their own volition. (Although I think Chaz might have actually done just that for the first time a couple of months ago.)
Anyways, I sure hope you got a soda out of the deal (and maybe even a trip to Crown Burger).
Well, I can imagine that Chad has done it recently. There is no back bathroom to which he can abscond.
Great post Mike. I must say, however, that Clint's and Nick's comments were acute virulent attacks on my strong puritanical work efforts. While it has not caused undue amounts of epiphora I am saddened by Nick's apparent amnesia concerning an ill-fated attempt of extortion at the expense of his trusting younger brother. yes, I'm talking about the paper route. How is it that I folded newspapers every afternoon, wasn't allowed to refer to him as my brother in public, and end up with a purple velcro wallet the size of Dad's old, expensive business calculator that he likes to brag about. And no, I'm not bitter, I'm just saying that anyone who is willing to work like I did for nothing is either hard working or crazy, and I was/am both.
speaking of extortion
"By the way, I'll trade you a Dave Stewart and Bo Jackson rookie card for a 2003 Topps B.J Surhoff."
And for Clint, while I do not subscribe to the power of chirognomy, I do believe that Pee-wee was right in going to the Alamo to look for his bike. What does this have to do with Clint's assertions that I never took lawn -moving initiative? Absolutely nothing. But hey, it's not my fault that Clint stayed home mowing the lawn on Senior Ditch Day. bitter is as bitter does (did i just make a Forrest Gump reference.I will now jump out of the window...)
Bottom line, Did Nick ever turn dirt on the side of the house in Madera just because? And dad has acknowledge that there was really no purpose in it. And clint, did you ever haul rock for two summers while listening to Aaron and Ryan handily break the world-record for the number of hecks and galls used in a five-hour period. And nick had the "gall" to have Ryan ask Roy for him if and how much he would be payed. And yes, I was there and witnessed it with mine own eyes. hmmmmm.. I am the hardest worker in the fam damily and my muscular frame proves it.
As the saying goes, "Case Closed"
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