When I boarded for the first time last week, I noticed I was the only person wearing a tie. Then I noticed I was the only one in a dress shirt. Finally I noticed I was the only white person on the bus. Was I back in Honduras? Of course not—I was a full partaker of San Antonio’s well-oiled machine that we call VIA Public Transport. That’s right, I now ride the bus to work.

Things have been going pretty smoothly since I started riding over a week ago. However, three issues have come to my attention during the last week:

1. A bus caught fire and no one knew why. Fortunately no one was hurt. (also, about a month ago, Jenn and I drove by an accident scene where a bus ran over some dude).
   
2. My boss told me that he knew a guy that was “robbed a while ago” while riding the bus.
   
3. Our home teachers came over Sunday night and one of them proceeded to tell me that a friend of his “got jumped” for some money while riding home.
   

Needless to say, I’m a little hesitant to inform my friends and co-workers of my newfound mode of transport—I’m sure they’ll tell me that they knew someone who was run over by a bus, caught fire, and got mugged—all at the same time. I know what you’re saying: “There’s no way anyone will mess with a guy with a frame like yours.” You’re right—I could probably handle two or three guys but after that, fatigue kicks in; even I have limits.

Anyway, onto some random notes:

Just for the fun of it, I looked up all your wish lists on the Amazon.com website. Some interesting finds:
Trevor’s: Proclaimers (500 miles) + Little Women = One-way ticket to the GLAAD convention. Actually, I shouldn’t make fun of Trevor too much—he might turn around and hit me with his purse. And don’t get confused with the FOUR different Trevor Tustisons. Note: they are all the same person. He just wanted to make sure you saw his name. Trevor, we see you.
Kim’s: Chocolate from the Cake-Mix doctor. This sounds as exciting as having Charlie Weis sit on your shoulders while you’re trying to do the splits. Is it just me or does the lady look like someone photoshopped her head on someone else’s shoulders. (Kim, if you make any chocolate for me, please disregard this part of the blog.)

Jenn threw her back out on Saturday—I had to go retrieve it out the window at the bottom of the stairs. No, but seriously. She sneezed and conveniently we both had to miss stake conference. As much as I wanted to go by myself, I just couldn’t bring myself to leave the apartment with Jenn in her state of tremendous physical and emotional pain. She’ll deny all of that now, but she was on lots of drugs and pain medications so she probably doesn’t remember…

Halloween, just like Valentines Day, the prom and companionship inventory, is way overrated. As we sit here in our apartment at 10 pm, we have yet to have one visitor for trick or treating. I think all the kids that live here were bussed over to the rich neighborhoods. They also could have been scared off by the gunshots...

I just finished reading Trevor’s Book of the Month recommendation: 100 People Who are Screwing Up America. I’m adding one more to the list: the guy who came up with the Sonic commercials. Can we not comission some governmental committee and call them something like The Committee on Commercial Quality. There should be fines and public censuring, even public floggings. I feel very strongly about this.

Is it just me or has anyone else noticed the inordinate amount of celebrations in college and pro football. I’ve seen things this year I have never seen before. I saw some defensive line guy bat down a ball a couple of weeks ago. This guy didn’t just throw a fist in the air, or hi-five a fellow teammate. No, he proceeded to run about 20 yards up the field, flex his muscles and cross himself. Now don’t get me wrong. I think celebration just as good as the next guy—it gets you pumped up, your team pumped up and allows a chance for little known players to have some spotlight. But to tell you the truth, I wouldn’t be surprised if some players started doing the worm or the robot after making an open-field tackle. I think it’s a disturbing trend in our sports culture. Something that was fairly routine a decade ago has now become a quasi-halftime show…every two minutes. Which brings me to an idea I just had…

They need to have a commercial where a football player catches a ball for 10 yards or so and then proceeds to do all kinds of celebrations in the middle of the field. Then you have some skinny dude from the stands come down, tackle the player really hard. Then you have a caption on the screen with someone narrating, “Act like you’ve been there before, we do.” “Harrison Investments, Est. 1893.” Hey, it could work.